That time of year...

The time when everyone makes the resolution to lose weight.  The same resolution I have made myself every year for over half my life. 

I knowingly and really not caring at all totally slacked off the past couple months.  I ate horribly, didn't do one lick of exercise, was just apathetic about the whole thing.  And as a result I gained back 10 lbs and just kinda feel like crap.

So as cliche and pointless as it is to make the resolution to lose weight, I am not going to do it.  Wait, what?  Yes, that's right.  I am not going to resolve to lose weight.  Clearly I fail every time I do that, so why bother anymore.

However...I am tired of looking and feeling the way that I currently do so I am (again) renewing my efforts to be a healthier person.  I joined Weight Watcher's Online (again) to try out their new Points Plus program.  I decided to really try and put some effort into it for the 3 months that I signed up.  I am also very slowly starting to workout again, just doing some mini-workouts to get myself back into the habit. 

I tend to rush into things and end up totally sabotaging myself.  This time, I'm taking it slow, even if that means no results for a while.  And I'm accepting my sabotage and not giving up because of it.  I recorded almost all of my food this week.  Even the bad stuff.  Even when I was clearly going to go way over points.  I did it anyway.  Decided it doesn't matter if I totally suck at this, I'm going to keep going anyway and hopefully one day I won't suck so much.

Yeah, I'm sure I've thought all of those things at one time or another and it hasn't worked out.  But someday it's going to, it has to, I don't feel like I was destined to live in this over-inflated body for my entire life.  Maybe I'll end up being a totally rocking 60 yr old on the 100th season of Biggest Loser, but someday it has to work.