So...more than a year and a half since I posted here. I can't say what happened at the end of 2011, I do know that basically all of 2012 sucked. Whether it be for my own health reasons, or my husbands job and moving halfway across the country...it just sucked. I have not been in a mind set to focus on weight loss at all, and of course I gained back a ton of what I had lost due to stress and anxiety.
Here we are in 2013 though. I am determined to get past the negative of the past year and move forward. Who knows what this year will bring, but I am going to try to make sure at least some of the crap from last year doesn't happen again!
To kick start the healing that my body and spirit desperately need I decided to join my chiropractor's office and do the Standard Process 21 day Purification Cleanse. I wasn't sure if I should, mostly I wasn't at all convinced that I COULD. But I knew that over the past year my body has been telling me that it has had enough. I had a kidney stone, I had gall stones, I had long term stomach/digestion issues that I won't further explain. I was tired and my brain just got foggier and foggier. So I spent $200 and ordered the kit, figuring at the very least knowing I spent so much money on it might be an incentive to try a bit harder.
So I picked the date of Tuesday, January 8th to start. Figured I'd take a day after my kids and husband went back to school and work to make plans, shop, and mostly indulge in anything else I felt that I HAD to have before I wasn't allowed to eat much more than vegetables for three weeks. Then I watched the premier of The Biggest Loser and decided to stop waiting and start the cleanse on Monday, January 7th.
I weighed myself on the first day. It was not a happy sight. I had been hanging around 288 for several months, but that first day the scale read 292.6. I had pretty much not cared a whole lot what I ate over the holidays and it showed. I've been at 292 before, it is the highest weight that I've had (I may have gone a bit higher while pregnant, but I can't remember.) I hate 292. I would hate 293 worse, but gladly I've never seen that number.
The first day was tough. I felt pretty low energy. I was peeing a TON, seriously. Sometimes I'd run to the bathroom with my bladder feeling like it would burst...and do it again 10 minutes later. I was also freezing. I had a low grade headache. Just felt off. I was not thrilled with my food choices, at all. I was really wondering why on earth I ever thought I could do this.
Day 2 was not any better. I was freezing, my head ached, I was exhausted. Food was a bit better to get down, but I really just felt crappy.
Day 3 I woke up really, really missing my morning coffee. I had a bit more energy throughout the day but was still run down feeling. Wasn't quite chilled to the bone like the previous two days either.
Day 4 and 5 were ok. I was suprised at how it wasn't too hard to resist the temptations of all the forbidden food around me. I was really missing all the stuff I couldn't have, but didn't give in.
Day 6 and 7...the weekend. All my family home, everyone surrounding me eating stuff I couldn't have. I was pretty miserable. I knew that I only wanted the food though, I didn't need it. Still, it was quite a depressing couple of days. Started to get sick of vegetables, didn't eat a snack in the afternoon because I would rather starve than eat a damn vegetable.
I had been weighing myself nearly every day, and was very happy with what I saw. After completing one full week on the cleanse I weighed 282.4, just over 10 lbs in one week!! I know most of that is just inflammation and water retention, but with eating such drastically fewer calories I know some is fat loss too!
I thought the new week starting would help, but Day 8 was the worst day I'd have (so far.) I was sick of the taste of the two shakes I had to drink every day. I was totally annoyed with vegetables, I really never wanted to see another one ever again. I was hungry, but nothing sounded good. I was cooking some chicken for my family's dinner and it looked SO good. I gave in and ate a bite. BEST tasting chicken ever! (And it wasn't even really all that spectacular, but it was a new taste!) I felt bad for "cheating", but at least it was chicken and not a cookie or something.
Day 9 and 10 were also struggles with desires to eat other food. Still I had the knowledge that I only wanted those food, I really didn't need them.
Day 11 was awesome...I could add chicken and fish to my diet! Had my first chicken breast at lunch time, I don't think I've ever eaten anything so fast, it was SO good to eat something other than vegetables. (For the record, I was having fruit too, but I would mix it with my shakes, so I was only drinking fruits, not "eating" them.)
Day 12 I was feeling a bit more energy but nothing major, still waiting for all the energy people claim to have while doing cleanses like this. Had some salmon for lunch today that tasted SO amazing!
Day 13 and 14 back to the weekend. Saturday wasn't so bad, Sunday I was again feeling kinda down that I couldn't eat anything I wanted, nothing really sounded appetizing. Sunday I felt like I had a burst of energy, definitely more than what I'd had so far.
After completing 2 full weeks of the cleanse I weigh 279.0 lbs....13.6 lbs gone!! 279.0 was actually my goal, I wanted to get below 280, so I made my goal 279 so I'd be one full lb away from the 280's. So glad to be this far away from 292, I will NEVER see that number again!!!
Day 15 back to the week, but everyone had the day off so it was like another weekend day, blah. Energy from the day before has worn off, mostly feeling bored and tired all day.
And that brings us to today, day 16. So far so good today, no great feelings of energy, but I am not feeling really tired either.
I realize this post has been epically long, but I wanted to recap the cleanse so far. I have definitely felt a shift in my thoughts about food. Having lost so much weight I feel like I can actually do it now. I feel like I can alter the way I eat, even being around my family eating other foods. I might not lose 10 or 3.5 lbs in a week...but I am sure I can continue to lose. I never thought I could do it before, heck I never really could before. I think a lot of that was all in my head, my mind and feelings about myself, feeling like I was a huge failure at everything was holding me back. I know my body needed a jump start, and that is exactly what I have gotten. I will continue from here on out because now I know I CAN!
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